最近有一篇文章在Facebook、twitter上频频被转,名叫“Nurse reveals the top 5regrets people make on their deathbed”。它的原文是一名叫BronnieWare的护士写的。Bronnie Ware专门照顾那些临终病人,所以有机会听到很多人临终前说出他们一生裡最后悔的事。她作了一个概括,有5件事是大多数人最后悔的。
很好奇为什麽这麽多人转载它,也许,因为这是一种你永远无法提前经历的事吧。你不会时常面对别人的死亡,你更不怎麽时常有机会听到一个临终前的人告诉你他最后悔的事是什麽。而即便你听到,你又会觉得自己来日方长。我们似乎永远无法感同身受;也许,只有我们自己的生命到了尽头时,我们才会意识到自己究竟错过了什麽,最后悔什麽。
我最近收到不同朋友发来的中英文不同版本,现综合如下转发与大家共享。
********************* Top Five Regrets- By Bronnie Ware
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gonehome to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for thelast three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned neverto underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal.Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger,remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient foundtheir peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would dodifferently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most commonfive:
1. I wish I'd hadthe courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life isalmost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams havegone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreamsand had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along theway. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings afreedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn'twork so hard
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children'syouth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. Butas most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not beenbreadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much oftheir lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyleand making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need theincome that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, youbecome happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your newlifestyle.
3. I wish I'd hadthe courage to express my feelings
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As aresult, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they weretruly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitternessand resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people mayinitially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in theend it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either thator it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, youwin.
4. I wish I hadstayed in touch with my friends
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until theirdying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had becomeso caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip byover the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships thetime and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they aredying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. Butwhen you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of lifefall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible.But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. Theywant to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usuallythough, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comesdown to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in thefinal weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that Ihad let myself be happier
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end thathappiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. Theso-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well astheir physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and totheir selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laughproperly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from yourmind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you aredying.
我希望當初我能讓自己活過開心點。
也許有點出乎意料,但這一條也在前5之中。很多人直到生命的最後才發現,快樂是選擇。他們在自己既定習慣和生活方式中太久了,習慣了掩飾,習慣了偽裝,習慣了在人前堆起笑臉。他們以為是生活讓他們不快樂,其實是他們自己讓自己不快樂了。是只有臨終的時候才會發現,別人怎麼看你又有什麼關係呢,傻也好,怪也罷,能有真心的笑,比什麼都值得。
****************
Life is a choice.生活是一种选择
It is YOUR life. 这是你的人生
Choose consciously, choose wisely,choose honestly. 慎重地选择、明智地选择、诚实地选择
Choose happiness. 选择快乐!